I don’t know about you, but my anxiety comes in full swing the minute I lay down for bed. I can go all day with no issues, but when my head hits the pillow it’s game over.

What if I’m just not meant to be a mom?

What if I can’t ever have a baby?

What if adoption really isn’t an option for us?

What if I’m stressing my husband out by being so stressed out?

Oh God, what if I’m just stressing my uterus out.

Ugh I can’t think about anything else now.

Followed by tossing and turning for the next 8 hours and hoping that the sleep eventually sets in. I wake up the next morning feeling like I haven’t slept, and stress out even more that the lack of sleep is starting to hurt my body, too.

I’ve tried sleeping pills, melatonin, night time cold and flu, ambien, you name it and it’s been across my nightstand. Yet, none of it seems to work. My body fights anti-anxiety medications like they’re a flesh eating disease. For the longest time, it seemed like sleep just wasn’t for me.

I know what you’re thinking, Ok Jess get on with it. What are we trying next that helps us sleep? Here’s my secret: there isn’t a one size fits all solution. Some nights I can turn on the TV and lose myself in the laugh soundtrack of a show I’ve seen eighteen times. Some nights I can do the healthy thing where I can focus on my feelings, accept them, and move on with my night. And sometimes, I get a tub of ice cream and cry until I’m ready to fall asleep.

I try to feel these emotions and not let them overcome me. It’s important that I don’t push down these feelings and let them build up, as I tend to shut down when the “big feelings” come. I’ve found that sharing these feelings with my family and friends who understand what we’re going through helps. Most importantly, prioritizing having a set sleep schedule has made all the difference for me.

What are you doing to help yourself sleep? What puts your anxiety to bed?