All of the TTC community at one point has googled something along the lines of “8 dpo BFN but high temp,” or other symptoms they’re experiencing in hopes that someone somewhere has experienced the same thing and then ended up pregnant.

We hold our breaths in hopes that we’ll get a hit on Google that says, “CONGRATS! This exact combinations of symptoms means you’re pregnant!” and pray that just because it happened to this one person it will be the same thing for us. Don’t think I’m up on my high horse and have never done this before. If you could see my search history you’d see me symptom spotting from 7 days post ovulation. I compare my charts and symptoms with people across the world living in different situations than me.

Recently I realized I was setting myself up for my heartbreak when I would get myself excited because, “this one girl in Europe had the same exact thing happen according to this chat board from back in 2008!” I didn’t put it into perspective that I was a Freshman in high school when they were chatting about this. Or that we live in opposite corners of the world. With completely different diets and lifestyles.

I find myself scanning each body part every day and critically analyzing every twinge my body makes, every cramp at a weird time, any aches or pains, or spikes in temperatures. I notice things that I wouldn’t normally. I look through the symptom checker on my fertility apps and can essentially make my body feel those things.

So here we are, almost to 2022. I’m determined to start relaxing about fertility to the point that I will not be marking down my symptoms in my fertility apps. I will continue to track my temperature, take my ovulation tests, and log my cycles but no more stressful symptom searching.

In the event that I do end up pregnant, I’ll be sharing my experiences from the date that I get a positive test, but prior to that the only things that need to be shared are those that I listed above. I pray that 2022 brings healing and baby dust to those who need it, and peace and comfort to everyone.